Who Am I?
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By Snakkle Staff
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Amy Poehler
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March 16, 2014 at 2:52 am, Ahmed said:
NO!!! You leave my alternate unrsviee girlfriend alone! I’ll fight you! And I WILL LOSE. You will kick my ass and leave me broken and crying in puddles of my own blood and probably urine. I will require months of hospitalized rehabilitation and may never be able to use my legs again (not because they won’t work, I just don’t feel like getting up). Amy will then hate you because you’re a big bully, and she will spend the next several years in hopeless futility attempting to lift me from my depressive, destructive downward spiral of doubt and self-loathing. It will take the combined efforts of several caring friends and relatives to convince her that I will never be the man she wants me to be and that I am just dragging her down. With great regret and sorrow she’ll leave me to find a better life, but she won’t cry- she’ll have used all her tears on me by then.But you can have her after that.